“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

([Bette:] “Because he started to—He just didn’t have any gumption to him. He started to whimper and to cry when he knew that he had his home and his family to protect and he didn’t do it, and I had crying kids and I didn’t need a crying husband because the older kids could shoot much better than their father because he didn’t know how to pull the trigger. He didn’t know how to do anything.”

([Joel:] “It was war. It was the instinct to survive. They moved in and everybody could have coexisted together but it just didn’t work that way. We were proud . We lived in a beautiful, but in the sense that this world has plenty, that there was nothing there. We lived and lived successfully. There were hard times. There was summer and there was famine and there were some pretty bad winters, but we were a success. We had been on that land a long time and then you people came in and looked down on us. You thought we were a bunch of savages and you wouldn’t be friends with us or talk to us. You didn’t want to talk to us—we were a bunch of animals yet you lived in hovels made out of dirt. You held yourselves up and thought you were so great and inadvertently or intentionally you began to destroy us at first and then it became more of a pattern because then you sensed that your survival was hinging on it too. Then it became kind of a guerilla warfare on both sides and it accelerated. It wasn’t necessary at all, but I guess we didn’t know that then.”

([Bette:] “I didn’t know I didn’t belong there and I didn’t really care about the Indians. All I cared about was my own.”

[...] The guns were awfully heavy, they didn’t shoot them much. [...] They didn’t last, they stopped making them. [...] The men didn’t want to keep the powder and the bullets together. [...]

[...] They didn’t like their babies dying, though, but they just thought it was life. [...] They didn’t think it was necessary. They didn’t have books, so what good did it do to be able to read?

(They didn’t have water to drink. [...] But they didn’t think it was healthy to drink water. [...] But they didn’t drink the water. [...]

[...] I didn’t feel like hanging around the house until 9:45 — the service was at 10:00 — so I told Margaret Bumbalo I’d run down to the hospital to see Jane first, then walk over. Jane was better, surprised to see me, trying to decide whether to go to hydro [she didn’t].

(At the funeral home a friend had told me he didn’t know how Jane and I stood it after all this time. I said you either rose to the occasion or you didn’t. He agreed, and offered to help us in any way he could, which I told him I appreciated very much. [...]

(I didn’t stay for the lowering of the casket. [...]

“That’s a silly question,” I retorted, but with a great impartiality; it didn’t seem that it was me replying at all. [...] They didn’t like their babies dying, but they just thought that … that was life. [...] People didn’t think it was necessary. They didn’t have books, so what good did it do to learn to read?

[...] They didn’t last; they stopped making them. [...] The men didn’t want to keep the powder and bullets together. [...]

“The people didn’t go to London often. [...] They didn’t see the coronation. [...]

[...] She didn’t want you to take the baby, and you just took it. [...] It was supposed to do all kinds of fantastic things; and it didn’t, it didn’t, it didn’t! ...And you didn’t have the guts to go back ...and you wandered, and you wandered alone, because you didn’t have the guts to go back. [...] They were stragglers from another country and they didn’t have any food and they were disbanded.. [...]

(Phil hesitated and said, “I think I wanted to go off with someone else, but I didn’t want to leave you and I couldn’t tell you,” and stopped awkwardly. [...]

(Jane didn’t finish lunch until close to 4:00. [...] At 4:12 she began reading yesterday’s session—holding it upright by herself with both hands again—but she didn’t read very well. [...]

(I kept the session in mind, so I didn’t go so far as to tell Pete to go all out and start suing everybody—although we’ve discussed litigation re the insurance. [...] I didn’t even tell Pete that, but will probably end up doing so. [...]

[...] Jane told them she didn’t want to go there. [...]

[...] The officer I talked to today didn’t know what had happened to him after that. [...] He didn’t though; so far, that is. [...]

The police didn’t know how he arrived in town either, without money or even a coat. [...]

[...] Like me, he didn’t believe that Fred flew here from Denver—that is, talking a stewardess into giving him free transportation all that way—yet Fred got here somehow, and I explained that the manuscript of Fred’s that I’ve looked over contains descriptions of his landing in Pittsburgh, PA, and working his way east through a series of stops at restaurants, in which he’d add to his manuscript each time. [...]

[...] Supper didn’t work out, though — after taking a half cup of soup she began to throw up, and lost it all. This upset me, yet Jane didn’t feel bad about it, and I curbed my disappointment.

(Jane didn’t call last night. [...]

[...] She didn’t go to hydro this morning: “You’ve got to be kidding.”

(Jane didn’t have a session yesterday, December 1, so here I’ll summarize the day’s activities. [...] Wendy didn’t look at the ulcers on the back too much, though, Jane said. [...]

(Shortly after I got there, Georgia came in, all smiles, to tell us that this morning her doctor had told her she didn’t need to have surgery after all. [...] She agreed, but I could tell that any larger implications there escaped her, and I didn’t press the point. [...]

[...] Georgia had brought the menus for the week, but I didn’t get time to fill out all of them. [...]

(This didn’t mean that I didn’t still feel bitterness toward Marie. Even if she didn’t grasp the issues involved, as Seth said, did this give her the freedom to so abuse another? [...]

(Jane didn’t call last night. [...]

[...] Her recovery was up to her, then, although I still puzzled why she carried her situation to such extremes when she said she didn’t want to die.

(“I was going to tell you about them sometime,” I said, meaning my own blue periods, “but I hadn’t done it before because I didn’t want you to feel bad. It just came out in yesterday’s session, spontaneously—I didn’t plan it that way.” [...]

(And the phone in 330 didn’t ring. and I didn’t hear from billing, or Andrew Fife, about any messages relayed to him from Syracuse. [...]

[...] It didn’t occur to me until later to wonder whether she actually meant the menus for today, which dietary has lost, or the one I filled out today for tomorrow’s meals. [...]

[...] “The body was trying to get rid of things — the mucous — that it didn’t want.” [...] Jane said they didn’t hurt, except that her right heel in back, and the inside of her right ankle, bothered her a little.

[...] Jane didn’t feel well while Debbie was there. [...]

[...] She didn’t get her lower teeth back afterward because they’d become messed up, she said.

[...] I didn’t want to call them, but had no choice. [...] Whoever I talked to had evidently been questioned by someone also looking for us—if not Fred himself —but his description of the person, as being older and with white hair, didn’t match Fred’s appearance at all, so I didn’t press the point. [...]

[...] Upon scanning the one manuscript, I found several references to Fred writing on it in a series of restaurants in Pennsylvania—which means of course that he didn’t take a direct flight here from Denver. [...] At no time did I feel fear, but at the same time I didn’t want him in the house, where problems might develop getting him out.... [...]

[...] She’d been having a rough time and I didn’t want to leave her alone. [...]

[...] The girl said something about Jane and “skilled nursing care,” but I didn’t really understand her, and let that go. [...]

[...] The insurance company told him, I believe, that according to her medical records, Jane didn’t need to be hospitalized—a strange attitude, and one neither of us could believe. [...]

[...] My news upon returning to 330 didn’t help Jane any, but I thought she was taking it very well, everything considered. [...]

[...] I thought her own physical difficulties must play a strong role here, although she didn’t say so. [...] I didn’t tell you. Then I said to myself, ‘Seth, just go into it, that’s all.’ So why didn’t he say the cat’s going to be all right?”

[...] Yet the doctor didn’t really know why the cat is sick. [...]

[...] She replied that she’d rather wait on the request: She was becoming very relaxed, and didn’t want to get involved with “deep questions” that might interfere with her increasingly comfortable state. [...]

He didn’t mention my sensations when I was thrown into the corner of the cab, though. Was this because he didn’t feel them? [...]

[...] I didn’t realize how much depended on the depth of my trance and on my willingness to give him freedom—I had to learn not to “block” information that came through. I didn’t realize either that little is known about normal perception, much less extrasensory perception, or that no medium is expected to be 100 percent correct. [...]

[...] I didn’t see his face. [...]

[...] In The New York Times test, Rob himself didn’t know what was on the test object. He didn’t always know what the test object was, in any case, and sometimes he didn’t even know that a test would be held! [...]

[...] If these didn’t convince him that something was going on, I didn’t see what would!

I didn’t feel this way in the beginning, but I was really furious that he didn’t tell us the results of the tests; all those hours seemed to be going down the drain. [...]

[...] I said I didn’t have anything to say. [...] I could hardly make her do something she didn’t want to do, but I didn’t say that either. [...]

[...] I didn’t urge her to, or ask questions about hydro or anything else. [...]

(I told her I didn’t want to overdo it, so I turned her on her side. [...]

(She didn’t call last night. [...]

[...] Although we are more than glad to get those precious letters — where would we be if people didn’t care about what we’re trying to do? [...]

(Jane didn’t comment today on my reference to any possible reincarnational connections with her symptoms. [...]

[...] “I didn’t know it was that late,” she said amid some grunts and groans. [...]

[...] This didn’t seem to be one of our better days. [...]

[...] “Gee, I didn’t know what to do,” Jane said. [...]