“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(“The pendulum insists there’s nothing wrong physically in the side-groin area, but I’m beginning to wonder. Pendulum tells me the side bothers because I’m not working on Mass Reality, which will get us money, whereas Through My Eyes is a less-certain project, would take longer, and the time I spend on it is time lost on Mass Reality. In other words, I’m very concerned about my financial contribution, and paying all those taxes exacerbates it all.

(“The pendulum says I don’t think I’ll get money for Through My Eyes, that it’s a waste of time, that I don’t want to work on it. I do want to work on Mass Reality, so as soon as I finish my filing for Through My Eyes, I’ll start in on Mass Reality.

(“The pendulum says my side started to bother me after I estimated $70,000 income for tax purposes for 1979, without seeing how Jane and I have any chance yet to bring in that much this year.”

(“Tonight the pendulum says just what it did yesterday—that I feel poorly because I estimated a high income when we don’t have it in sight; that I think I should be working on Mass Reality instead of Through My Eyes because the former will bring in sure money; that I think I don’t contribute enough financially; that I feel lousy because I want something definite to work on —that at this time I’m not contributing enough. The pendulum also says I think I deserve the symptoms for the above reasons.

(“The pendulum also says I think my body is capable of healing itself, wants to heal itself, and that I want it to heal itself. It also says I do not think it’s safe to get well. I don’t feel bad because of Jane’s symptoms, although I’m very concerned about them daily.

(“The pendulum repeated my insight of a couple of days ago—one that may be very important: that all of my upsets over the years, the stomach, the side, the groin, the shoulder—the whole bunch—stem from my consistent feeling that I’m a failure in life, that I don’t contribute enough, that I don’t help Jane enough, that I haven’t really made it as an artist or as a writer.

(“The pendulum also says I can make it as an artist and writer, and that I’m too hard on myself. I’ve begun reading Seth’s New Year’s resolutions again, and these have helped.”

(1. “Exercise: to send energy to Rob. Mentally see him in his studio, at drawing table. Imagine and visualize the energy all around the corner of the house and sky, rushing toward him; then am surprised when mentally the top of his head comes neatly off, like a lid from a jar. I see hands, mine I think, reaching in, straightening things out [as you’d untangle a telephone cord]. This upset me some. I was leery as if I didn’t know if I could harm him, rummaging around in there like that; then realized that these images represented tangles of thought that were being smoothed out. A few minutes later Rob is in the living room and I think he was watering the plants really. I thought he was in his studio and that’s where I saw all this. [About 9:30 AM.]

(2. “2:20 PM. Imagine Rob in writing room, soft, warm yellow light shines on him from Framework two, and though I didn’t specify, the light lingers particularly on his shoulder. Then I see him quite clearly in miniature, jumping and rolling high in the air, throwing his arms out....

(3. “8:30 PM....Decide to.... do another exercise with Rob. Instantly I see him seated in writing room and behind him stands a transparent whitish woman’s image, my astral self. From behind Rob, standing, she lightly soothes his forehead, then quickly is in his lap, facing him, sort of melting in with him; then they express their love.... or the actions express it....together in a fashion I can’t describe of both of their astral forms entwined, fly off into space. They separate, doing ballets in the sky come together again; very free.”

(“Before nap I asked for help from spontaneous self, and when I awakened I did feel better. Awoke several times during hour nap, realizing I felt rather good. Toward the end of my nap: I presume, a dream…. I was having a Seth session, seated at my place at living room table. Rob possibly could have been sitting in my desk chair. Anyhow, he was facing me. He started to yell, throw up his arms, and he was remembering some reincarnational material that was unpleasant. Possibly Seth had just given it to him. I came out of trance though, telling Rob everything was okay to remember, let it out, and let go. Another figure sat nearby, taking notes, and I think this was Rob too; this figure was more distant and said nothing….very clear.”

(“Rob has no memory of this or of Thursday exercises either. Did they affect him in any way?”